What a MIAM meeting is and whether you need one
By Tom2 min read
The short answer
A MIAM is a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. Since April 2014, anyone applying to court for most family matters (children arrangements, financial settlements) in England and Wales has had to attend one first, with limited exemptions. The meeting lasts about 45 to 60 minutes and is held with a trained family mediator. It costs between £60 and £120 per person. The mediator explains how mediation works and assesses whether your situation is suitable. You don't have to commit to full mediation after a MIAM. You can attend on your own, but mediation itself needs both parties. Exemptions include domestic abuse, child protection concerns, and genuine urgency.
Tom’s reflection
I'd heard the word MIAM thrown around and assumed it was going to be a longer process than it was. It's not. It's a single meeting, about an hour, and you come away knowing whether mediation is going to work for you.
We did ours separately, which I hadn't expected. The mediator needs to check both parties are coming to it freely and there are no safeguarding issues. Once she'd seen us both, she came back to us together and said yes, this is going to work, here's what the next sessions will look like.
What I wish I'd known going in is that you're not committing to anything by going. You can attend the MIAM and then decide mediation isn't for you. You can attend the MIAM as the step you need to apply to court if mediation isn't going to work. It's a gate, not a contract.
The bit that surprised me was how much paperwork wasn't involved. I'd been expecting forms and disclosures and lists of assets. The MIAM is mostly conversation. The mediator wants to know what's going on, whether you can sit in a room together without it turning into a row, and whether you're both going to be honest. That's it.
In the Solo Session afterward, Meedi asked me what I'd been most worried about going in. I said the formality of it. Looking back, the easiest part was the formality. The harder part is the sessions afterward, where you're actually deciding things. The MIAM is just the door.